Children should be equipped with mute buttons.

Desperate for a couple new shirts for our vacation I loaded up the kids and the double stroller and headed to the mall.  I grab the few summer type shirts that they are still selling and tried to maneuver my stroller into a dressing room with the kids.  There I am in a small room standing in front of a mirror the size of the room trying on different shirts while my two children watched.
I tried on the first shirt that was cut just a little too low for my liking.  My pancake cleavage was just not looking hot.  We moved right along to the next one and it wasn't any prettier and much more revealing than the first.  Trying to whisper but not succeeding my daughter says, Mommy I can see your boobies.  I gave her the look and told her to be quiet and moved on to the next shirt while hearing a few giggles from my dressing room neighbors.  Next I put on one that was just not right, not right at all.  My boobs hung out with one going east while the other went south, my rolls were looking for an escape route and it was just plain wrong all over.
Mommy if you wear that Mickey is going to be very mad at you.
Daughter be quiet, I told her as I heard snickers within the room.
But Mommy, Mickey Mouse will be mad if he sees your boobies.
And with that I got dressed and left the dressing room without making eye contact as the girl, trying to hold back her giggles, took the shirts and my pride with her.

It's like flavored crack but without the crack.

It's that time of year again when all the goodness known as coffee crack is being introduced into the grocery stores.  I seriously can't control myself and this season always leaves me strung out on caffeine and super addicted.  

Oh but they taste so good.  And I have to drink as much as possible now because they will be gone in a few short weeks for ten very long months when their makers are so mean and lock them away keeping them captive from the world that loves them.  

Excuse me while I go make my third cup of coffee today.

Hooligans

While taking my two small children trick or treating today these two crazies ran around like this.

No trick or treating they just ran around the neighbor screaming while pushing each other in a shopping cart.  It was at the moment I snapped this photo that I realized darn I'm getting old.  10 years ago I probably would have found this hilarious however now that I am old (um I will be 30 in February) I take pictures of punks like this as evidence of a future crime I know they will probably commit.  Next I will be wearing a moo moo while guarding my collection of dolls and staring out my front window counting the cars that pass by.

Candy

All week the child has asked me to have candy.  I have given her a lollipop here and there but honestly I just didn't want to deal with the high that can only be had by all that sugary candy.  Finally yesterday I gave in. Pick anything; I don't care, I told her.

Given the opportunity to choose anything I would have picked the skittles, the kisses, the sweettarts, pretty much anything but the choice she made.

Candy Corn.  My child chose candy corn.

Gross.